


Lady Deadpool meets Hawkeye

by HotPantsLadyD



Category: Hawkeye - Fandom, Lady Deadpool - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-22 18:57:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3739852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HotPantsLadyD/pseuds/HotPantsLadyD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is what happens when you rp a character and is obsessed with another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lady Deadpool meets Hawkeye

-#LDPMeetsHawkeye

 

"Hey, Bro. You do this Bro? I pay you money Bro. Lots of money Bro, you take job Bro" A man in a Tracksuit said.  
"Oh my GOD! If you say Bro one more fucking time I'll take the pencil, stab you in the neck and listen to the beautiful sound of you choking. Got it/Bro/?" I yelled "Yeah I'll take the job. On my terms. I get paid half now and half later, understand? "  
"No Bro, you get paid after Bro after job is done Bro" The Tracksuit man replied with a furrow brow.   
Without hesitation I grabed the pencil off the desk and stabbed a different man in the neck, who was in a Tracksuit standing beside the boss. My fast movement caused the third man in the same Tracksuit to pull out his gun and shoot me in the head. I fall to the ground, as the man I stabbed, slowly suffocated, choking on his blood. The sweet sound of the gurgling filling the room dying out as his heart beat it's last beat. As death came to take him. After a moment I stood up.  
"YOU PRICK! I MISSED THE SOUND! THAT BEAUTIFUL SOUND! NEW deal. I get paid in full. NOW! And you 2 get to live. Give me my money " I demanded full of anger   
"Bro I shot you Bro in the head. Bro you should be dead Bro. "  
I point my gun at him.  
"/shut! /up!/, now Tracksuit boss. Give me my money and I'll be on my way, to kill this guy with blonde hair. "  
"Okay Bro keep cool Bro, I give you your money now Bro." He got up walked to his safe and pulled out my half a million.  
I grabbed all my money shoving it all in different pouches before turning to leave.   
"I'll call you once it's done."

 

**walking **  
I walked down the road looking at the poorly drown map.   
"This is the road...I think"  
[You sure There's a curve in the map. This is a straight road.]  
{I think the idiot doesn't have a straight hand is all.}   
"Why Are you two bringing sexuality into this?! Look That's the building. So that window must be the targets." I pointed to a window. As I started to enter the opposite building.   
[Not this building!]  
{We need to keep watch first.}  
[OH!]   
"Yeah, To find out who we are after. I don't always run into a fight blinded. But when I do I prefer to do it in really complex situations. "  
{Right...}  
[how long we have to sit up here? ]  
"As long as we need to. Could be ten minutes. Could be a whole week. Who knows."  
I Sit outside on the roof watching the apartment. No signs of movement. I continue to watch for a few hours.   
{Hey moron, lights just turned on!}  
[We got people! Wheelchair man and...]  
Opening my eyes and looked into the apartment. The voices were right. The target was home. A man in a wheelchair and....   
"HAWKEYE!?"   
{Quiet!}  
[They'll hear you.]  
"THEY WANT ME TO KILL HAWKEYE?! AN AVENGER?! SERIOUSLY?! " I yelled in a whisper. I teleported across the road onto the roof of who I now knew was hawkeyes building. I walked down the fire escape to his floor.  
"Guys, I have an idea! "  
{Oh No, this will be horrible. Please don't do it.}  
[It will be fun.]  
"Exactly! Don't worry. I got this."  
I turn on my toes, and walk back up the fire escape, just to the floor above hawkeyes. I carefully get over the edge and pull out rock picks to use to stick to the wall. I smash them into the brick, scaling the wall until I'm on the little lip of hawkeyes living room window.   
{Can't we use the door like normal people?!}  
[Don't look down. Don't look... oh GOD I looked down!]  
"I'm not normal, so no. Plus I'm pretty sure Hawkeye has no idea who I am"  
{So...knocking on a window is less creepy than a door?}  
[Guys We're pretty high up!]  
"Yup, he'll open up watch." I bolted myself to the wall. Hooking up a line and clipping it to the back of my belt. before turning around so my back was against the wall I leaned down tapping on the window before standing back up out of sight.  
"What the hell.. Clint…CLINT! window"   
I heard someone say. I assume the man in the chair. A moment later the window opened.  
{YOU are going to die.}  
I fell forward still attached to the wall in front of Hawkeye, upside down like Spiderman.   
Scarring him by appearing out of no where he let out a yelp, and punched me full force in the face. I jerk, from the punch making me loose my footing, causing the line to come undone.  
{Told you}  
[AHHHHH! ]  
"Nooo!! "  
I start to fall, only to be jerked again by someone grabbing my leg.   
After being pulled up into the apartment.   
"Deadpool?! " Clint looked confused   
"Close! Lady Deadpool. See I got boobs, and did you have to hit me?! You broke my nose."  
"I can't read your lips... your mask is in the way."  
[He wants to see our face]  
{Wanda don't you dare take.…off your mask...idiot }  
I had pulled off my mask before the voice could finish.   
"You deaf or something? I said I'm Lady Deadpool. Names Wanda. I know who you are Clint, a.k.a Hawkeye " I winked as blood ran down my face. "I don't know who you are though. " I turned to face the guy in the chair.  
"Barney. And yes he is. Why are you here? " The man in the chair spoke.   
"Wait. Who are you?" Clint asked?   
"W-a-n-da, here Wait I know sign" I said before shaking my hands "Okay here we go." I started to sign as I spoke.   
"I am Wanda Wilson. I'm the Deadpool from earth 3010, you might not understand that but That's who I am. Now why I'm here." I paused "I was hired to kill you. I took the job cause it was a sexy pay. I'm not going to kill you. Instead I'll fight your war so you don't have to. Cause it would appear you're on the wrong side of the field."  
{Did you just sign I...}  
"Did you just sign "I love you" in the center of that? " Clint asked   
"What?! Me sign I love you? " I signed as I spoke again.   
"Yes, she did." Barney laughed   
"I did not!" My signs started getting a bit sloppy.   
{Yes you did. }  
[I thought that was Satan sign]  
{Nope her thumb was out, Means "I love you"}  
"Why would I sign "I love you, so much Hawkeye" why would I do that "  
Barney was laughing.   
"You changed it! " Clint pointed at me.  
"Okay! Seriously, Let's move on from the confession. I need to know what exactly you got yourself into? "  
Clint sighed. closing his eyes briefly before opening them and looking at me.  
"It's a long story. But I'll sum it up for you. I forced Ivan, a member of the Tracksuit Draculas to sell me this building. In Which he wasn't to happy about cause I made him loose money. I ended up in a fight with them again when I was trying to save this girl who they were trying to Kinda kidnap. Turns out she was the runaway wife of Ivan." He explained.   
"Who you slept with" Barney added.  
"Wait. You slept with a married women?!" I questioned   
[Wow.]  
{That's actually surprising seeing how He's an avenger.}  
"It's complicated, I know it sounds bad. Anyways I didn't know Cherry's connection right away. The Tracksuit Mafia tried to force me to return the building or they were gonna kill everyone. We managed to face them and defeat them. But I guess they hired you, to kill me." Clint finished his explanation leaning against the counter with a pot of coffee in his hand.  
"Okay, so I kill the Tracksuit guys and your problem is solved."  
"Can we, you know maybe not kill them." Hawkeye pitched the bridge of his nose.   
"Yeah sure, we'll beat the crap out of them and that will make it clear not to fuck with us. No killing" I spoke clear so Clint could read my lips.   
[WHAT?! No killing!! Boo!! You whore]  
{She's clearly lying! Wanda can't help but kill. It who she is.}  
"Oh shut up already!! " I yelled at the voices. Barney and Clint looked at me surprised.   
"Oh not you two. The voices. " I explained rubbing the back of my head.   
Barney turned to Clint and signed. He pointed to me then spun his index finger in small circles beside his head.  
"Okay, first off. Barney " I Said before starting to sign. I pointed at him, then Signed the letter "A" followed by "H". Barney was a little shocked at my vulgar signs.   
"I think you forgot I know ASL" I started to sign again. Pointing my index finger up and touching the other three fingers to my thumb, then bending my wrist to make a dipping motion before changing my hand sign to a thumbs up before moving my arm down as I turned my wrist so my thumb was sideways in almost a "j" shape.   
"Did you just call Barney a Dip Shit!?" Clint Asked almost laughing.   
"I did."  
"She also just called me an asshole " Barney smirked.   
"Well you called me crazy. Which I am but still not the point. Which brings me to my next point. I'm Which I'm apologizing in advance. " They looked confused. With out warning I punched Barney hard in the face knocking him out.  
[You're going to hell ]  
"I know! I feel bad but they'll stop me, I'm Sorry Clint. I just love you so much! " I spoke to him as I walked towards him.   
"What are you doing?! Aren't you on my side!?" He asked as he backed up.  
I nodded and he turned to run. I quickly grabbed him from behind, putting him in a sleeper hold.   
"I will remember You!! Will you remember me? Don't Let your.."  
{He's out! Let him go Now before you kill him}  
"Whoops" I gently placed him on the floor. "That was close. Now that the angels are sleeping let's get this blood Bath started!! " I said as I walked towards the window I came in. Looking at them over my shoulder.  
"They're so cute when they're sleeping" I said before jumping out the window.

At the Tracksuit Draculas headquarters.   
"You kill guy, bro? "A guard asked as I walked up to the door.  
"About to" I said pulling out my blades and a quick, swift motion. Decapitating the two Tracksuit guards. Before kicking the doors in. "Knock, knock boys. A little bird told me you guys love gifts. So here I am call me Opera, cause you get a bullet " I shoot another member "you get a bullet, you get a bullet!! Everyone gets a bullet!! " I kept shooting down the members as I headed toward the bosses room. After an easy slaughter spattering the walls with blood. I came to the doors to the bosses room. I knocked on the door…No answer   
[Maybe they're not home.]  
{Really?! They're in there.}  
I knocked again. "Room service " I yelled, but still no answer. I grabbed the Handel and turned it pushing the door. Inside the room was Ivan, standing behind a man. Who wore a white suit and clown makeup.   
[It's a clown!! Why does it have to be a clown!]  
{Cause God shows no mercy.}  
"I hate clowns!! "  
"Luckily you will not be alive much longer" He spoke pointing a gun at my head."Put your weapons down"   
I smirked doing exactly that. I placed my guns and swords on the ground. "I don't need them to kill you. " I took a step forward causing him to point the gun down at my leg.  
"I didn't tell you to move, I almost feel bad for having to kill you."   
While he was talking I took the time to charge at him. Bringing my left hand up knocking his Right hand with the gun in it. As I took my other hand and punched him in the gut. Quickly kneeing him in the same spot. Once he was crunched over I dropped a hard elbow to his back. In the commotion he had dropped his gun, and Ivan had ran to the corner. The clown then had slipped out a small knife from inside his suit jackets sleeve. Slicing my achilles tendon. I drop to the ground, Clown took the opportunity to stand up as I was yelling in pain.   
"You cheating bastard! That fucking hurts God damn, shit fucking, cunt licking son of a bitch!!.. Oh wait. It's healed never mind. " I followed suit and stood up as well. He lunged at me. Sticking the knife in between two of my vertebrochondral ribs on the right side getting my kidney. Being stabbed often I didn't slow my movement. I pulled back my left arm and hooked him in the face with a powerful punch. He fell to the ground. Grabbing his face. I had broken his jaw. 

"Lady Deadpool! Stop!! "   
I turned to see Hawkeye standing there, in uniform.   
"I do love a man in uniform. "  
[Especially Clint ]  
{Definitely, I mean look at that body. }  
"Right!? So toned, and Abby mmmm!"  
Hawkeye's eyebrow raised.   
"We can't kill them! Let's just go. "  
[Quick go with him! He can show us a whole new world!]  
"A new fantastic point of view?"  
[No one to tell us "No"]  
"Or where to go?"  
[Or say we're only dreaming!]  
"A whole new world!"  
{Focus! People are watching! }  
"Oops! " I turned back to look at Clown   
"Don't fuck with my man. Got it punk? Otherwise. I will look for you. I will find you. And I will kill you! " I took my sword out and lifted up his chin so he was looking at Me as I spoke. Before putting it away again and walking over to hawkeye. I grabbed his hand and dragged him out.


End file.
